Amy Schumer

Amy Schumer is an American stand-up comedian and an actress. This young lady is considered as the new queen of comedy television and has won hearts of millions.

To prove you how amazing and funny Amy is, we will give you some of her funny jokes and quotes:

1. I am so in love with my boyfriend right now. Everything is perfect, but we want totally different things in bed. Like, he's always turning the lights on, you know what I'm saying ? And I shut them off, and he turns them on, and on the other day, he's like ' Amy why are you so shy ? You know, you have a beautiful body. ' I was like ' Oh my god, you are so cute. You think I don't want you to see me? '

2. My mom's always saying really smart things, like you probably heard this one, ' Why buy the cow when the milk has HPV? ' Wish I'd listened to that one.

3. The way that these girls keep themselves skinny is awful, isn't it? By vomiting or using hard drugs - which l cannot afford.

4. It's a weird age. They are like ' Amy, I am pregnant ' And I still don't know whether to be like ' Congratulations ' or ' Do you need a ride? '

5. There is nothing more awkward than going to the first birthday of a little girl when you told her mom to get rid of her - because the kid can tell.

 

 

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